Everything Happens for a Reason

I can’t believe it’s already been over 2 months since I last posted. After the last transfer, I was just so upset with myself that it didn’t work. I know everyone says, “it’s not your fault”, but sometimes, you just can’t help how you feel. But, I am happy to say that I am in a much better place emotionally and am SO excited to share that I am matched with a new couple!!

R & T live in Australia and are just completely adorable. We email about once a week, which I love (one of the biggest issues I had with my last IP”s is that there was a language barrier, so communication was always very hard and emails were kept very brief and far between). R is originally from New Zealand and T is from Israel. I don’t even know what else to say, they are just perfect! We had our 1st Skype call at the end of October at around 8:30, the same day as my youngest’s birthday party. My case manager came over (she lives about 5 min from me) and we chatted with the guys (yep, guys!!) for about an hour. We covered all the “basics” and all the really “tough” stuff – such as termination, reduction, how many embryos to transfer, etc). I really loved them on paper, but the Skype call just sealed the deal. The thing that really stuck out was when T brought up about what kind of relationship I was hoping to have after the birth and he said that “to them their surrogate would be family” and that they “couldn’t imagine not having that person in their life after the baby was born”. That is one thing that is really important to me in this whole surrogacy process and of course, I want the relationship to be organic and develop on its own, but if the couple doesn’t feel like it’s something that they want, then I don’t want to match with them. And that’s something that I worried about often with S&J. The guys will be using 2 surrogates and implanting one embryo into each surrogate. They already have an egg donor and R already has embryos ready. T will be coming down in Feb (YAY!!) and the same egg donor has agreed to work with them again, so the babies will have 1/2 the same genetics. One surrogate will get an egg fertilized with T’s little swimmers and the other surro will get an egg fertilized with R’s little swimmers. We are looking at a transfer in early March.

We had our annual agency holiday luncheon yesterday at a restaurant in Newport Beach, right on the water. The food was ok, but the restaurant was beautiful. I got to see one of the only girls in my agency that I’ve become friends with, Karissa (pic below). She is amazing, such a beautiful person, both inside and out and her surro story is CRAZY – but not mine to tell – and after the craziness that was her 1st surro journey, she actually wants to do it again, she is truly an inspiration! I finally got to meet my surro “sister”, J. She is really great and has been a surro a few times, as well as an egg donor. We are all (case manager, J and myself) driving down to the RE office next Monday for our medical clearance. They have me starting BC pills this week and before I know it, March will be here and I will be pregnant (hopefully!). I am really excited for this new journey and feel like maybe things didn’t work out with J & S so that I would be here when T & R were looking to match. They are already so great and I can only see things getting better from here. I’ll update after my appointment next week.

Me and Karissa

Me and Karissa


Until next time,
C

After 10 days

I had started to write a post a few days ago about the transfer, but never got around to finishing it and at this point, I just don’t really feel like it. I had my beta today and it’s another negative. I have a great support group online and all my friends and family are really supportive, but I am so sad. I feel like such a failure. I’m just hoping that S & J will become parents, even if it’s not through me. And I hope that I can rematch with a couple that is a better fit for me. That’s all for now. I will update when I have some news.

Until next time,

Chantelle

Everyone Keeps Saying the 3rd Times the Charm

I just wanted to stop in quickly and let you know that today is the big day. I will be going in at 9:30 this morning and having 2 precious little embryos put in me for safe keeping for hopefully the next 10 months. I will be on bed rest all weekend, so feel free to stop by with yummy food, movies or magazines ;) This is our 3rd try to make S and J parents and I want this so badly for them. Send up a prayer for them today please.

Wish me luck and lots of sticky, sticky, thoughts!

Until next time,

Chantelle

3rd Times A Charm…I hope

Its been a while since I last posted, I’m sorry – I’m such a bad blogger! I think about posting and then get sidetracked and busy doing something else (like catching up on everyone else’s blogs).

Since my last post, not a whole lot has happened as far as the surrogacy. My IP’s did not contact me at all except for a couple days after transfer to see how I was feeling and then not after that until maybe 2 weeks ago. I was definitely a little hurt, but I try to remember that this must be hard for them too. I don’t think the language barrier helps either. I met with the Dr. a couple weeks after the last failed transfer to talk about the next step. I told him during that meeting that I was fine with not moving on with my IP’s if they didn’t want to move on (its in our contract to try 3 times, unless both parties agree to stop), but that I was willing to do another transfer if they wanted to use remaining frozen eggs. I also got a little more info in regards to past transfers. Our first transfer was fresh, 5 day transfer with 2 AA (the best) eggs. The 2nd transfer was a frozen transfer with an AB (2nd best) and a BA (3rd best) grade. All that remains now are 3 frozen BB (4th best) grade embies. The Dr. said HE was embarrassed that it hasn’t worked – yeah, imagine how I feel buddy! He looked through my charts and said my uterus was great, beautiful even, but he doesn’t know why its not working. After he discussed things with my IP’s, they decided to try with me, using 2 of the 3 remaining embryos. YAY!! I start meds on Sunday and transfer is scheduled for 9/21. I am really, REALLY hoping it works this time. I have a quick Dr appointment on Friday to do a blood draw and pick up my meds. That’s about it in surro land for now – I PROMISE I will do better at updating.

In other news, we are getting ready for the end of summer. I’m going camping this weekend with my parents and the kiddos while hubby is at a work conference for a week. Did I mention that this is the 2nd year in a row where his little trip falls right during the 1st week of school?! My oldest will be starting 3rd grade – 3RD GRADE!!! When did she get so big?! And my middle daughter will be going into Pre-K, 5 days a week. Needless to say, next week will be hectic and crazy with morning drop off, 2 different pick-up times, a full time job 25 miles away and 1 parent who isn’t home AND I start my hormone meds, as if there wasn’t already enough crazy going on . And lets not forget my little monster at home, who I’m sure will do his best to keep things from going smoothly- HAHA! Did I mention that he will be 2 in October? 2!! I swear I just had him. I’ve been tossing around ideas for a birthday party and I think we will have a “doo” party, which is “Gru” in toddler speak. Little Monster is obsessed with Despicable Me, we watch it at least once a day and usually more than that. I am so glad its Despicable Me though and not Barney or some other horrible toddler show. There’s not a whole lot more going on in crazy kid land. We’ve done all the school supply shopping, uniforms were delivered yesterday, we have Open House for my oldest tomorrow night to meet her teacher and drop off her supplies and a “meet & greet” at the preschool for my little Sunshine on Friday morning before we leave to go camping and then school starts on Tuesday. Summer has been pretty uneventful, but none the less, I am sad to see it go.

There isn’t a whole lot more going on, so enjoy what’s left of your summer and I will be back soon with an update.

Until next time,

Chantelle

Transfer #2 results

Things have been so hectic and I haven’t had a chance to update on transfer results, so I figured I needed to get a quick post up for those of you waiting to hear the news… I had beta on Monday and it was negative :( I am so sad for my IP’s, but am taking the news better than I did last time. I haven’t talked to them yet and am waiting to hear from them this time around. I’m not sure if we will attempt a 3rd transfer or not – its in our contract to do 3 transfers, so I am ok with that, but I am also ok with moving on. I know they still have frozen eggs left, so I am hoping to hear what my next move will be soon. I’ll try to post as soon as I have news :)

Until next time,

Chantelle

Transfer Day!

Hi all!

Last Friday was transfer day and I am finally back up and moving around after a nice, relaxing weekend.

We arrived at the office around 9:15. Met up with my case manager, Nicole (who is AWESOME) and headed up. My appt. was at 9:30 and they took me back to check my blood pressure and weigh me. The nurse thought I was crazy when I told her I have been losing weight since starting the meds, but when she weighed me, she started laughing and said I was losing weight :) She had me go back out to the waiting room and after maybe 5 minutes, she came out and walked us over to the other office where they do the transfer. We sat in that waiting room until about 10:15am. The Dr called me back, had me sign the forms and then told me to go to the restroom and then they would take me back. They didn’t call me back to the room until about 11am. After I was all situated and had been sitting there for about 15 minutes, one of the girls came in to go over my discharge instructions. When she was walking out, I asked if she could send my husband in and she told me he could come in after the procedure. I let her know that he was in there the last time we did this and she let him in. It was another 45 minutes before they finally came in to get started. The same thing happened last time and they assured me then, that it was very rare for it to take so long – just my luck ;) The transfer itself took about 5 minutes and then I sat there for another 40 minutes before I was allowed to go home. The Dr. didn’t tell me the “grade” of the embryos, but when I asked if they looked good, his response was, “They look alright”. Hmmm…not very reassuring, but I’m still confident this is going to work. I was on Dr. ordered bed rest the rest of the day Friday and all day Saturday. I chose to stay on bed rest all day Sunday and most of the day yesterday. I am back at work today and feeling pretty good. I have had cramping off and on since transfer. My IP’s are going to wait until beta, which is on 7/2, to get results, but I will probably start POAS tonight (4.5dp5dt) I was 5.5 days past transfer last time when I got my first positive result (which ended in a chemical pregnancy).

In other news, we are getting ready for my SIL’s wedding that is this Friday and the reception is at our house. I haven’t been doing much to help because of my “light activity” restriction, but things are crazy with my in-laws trying to get everything done. My girls are going to be flower girls and are so excited. Also, right before I left work on Thursday I got a call from HR offering me a promotion, so starting on Friday I will be at a different office as a Supervisor!! YAY!! I have been here for 5 1/2 years and with all the hiring freezes, lay-offs and furloughs we had, this is such a great opportunity. So, wish me luck and lots of sticky baby dust…

Until next time,

Chantelle

Oh, has any one out there had to use Heparin before? I have to do shots 2x a day and my stomach looks horrible with little purple spots every where I have had a shot – is this normal? How long did you have to take the Heparin for?

Next week!

I had my final appointment this morning before next week’s transfer. The Dr. said everything looks great and that we are ready to go. Transfer will be on 6/22 at 9:30am (PST). We will be doing a FET with 2 embryos. Everything is pretty much the same this round as far as meds, but they have added in Heparin starting the day after transfer. The nurse explained that it helps to sometimes thin the blood so the egg/embryo can attach to the uterus wall and there are no blood clots in the way to prevent implantation. I am a little nervous to be taking blood thinners because I have absolutely no experience with them – not that I had experience with any of the other meds, but blood thinners are SCARY, especially when i have to stab myself 3 times a day with a needle! I’m also a little concerned about doing 3 injections a day and having to do them twice a day. Up until this point, it’s always only been 1 injection a day. I haven’t told my hubs yet, but he’ll most likely have to get up at 6:20am every day to give me a shot before I head out to work :( Good thing he can fall back asleep easily. Bad for me thought because that means I will have to get up at 6:20 on the weekends and unlike my husband, I don’t fall back asleep easily. Oh well, it’s all worth it at the end when I will get to see J and S become parents!

That’s all I have for now, so until next time,

Chantelle